I've often admitted that I appreciate practical application for the sometimes vague or blanket Christian advice I've been given in my life. I value understanding the reason why I should do something someone advises me to do.
The process of seeking out answers to religious questions is the very definition of working out one's faith. Simply put, you cannot believe and take to heart everything someone says to you, whether at the pulpit or personally. Spending the last few months looking for a new job, my own questions have often left me perplexed. Questions such as, "Why it is so important that God directs my path?" sent me searching for an answer. I wondered why the job hunting process couldn't be as simple as making my own educated decisions on matters. Was it really important for something as seemingly inconsequential to my faith as an occupation, to be chosen by God? And if it did matter, why? To be completely open and honest, when I started my job hunt, I wanted to simply take the reigns, and choose what felt right to me according to my desires. At first, I tried to do things in my own strength, not really seeking God for direction or approval. I experimented with the idea of using my own common sense. But, as time went by and no doors opened up, I became frustrated and finally broke. The night before I received a job offer, I prayed, asking God to provide direction on what He wanted me to do. Immediately freed from my tight grasp on the situation, I had a sense of peace no matter what the outcome. To my surprise, the next morning, I awoke to a dream job opportunity waiting for me in my inbox. God opened the door to a future I strongly desired. That's when it hit me! I suddenly realized why seeking His direction was so crucial. It had nothing to do with God trying to control my life or make me miserable. On the contrary, it was for my benefit and ultimate good! Seeking God for direction the night before, provided me assurance that this turn of events was from Him. It confirmed it was indeed God opening this door, giving me confidence to walk through. Another benefit related to involving God in our decision making pertains to our future. Seeking God for direction helps us persevere when trials come. I am more likely to endure a difficult situation if I know I am where I'm supposed to be. If choosing this job was simply a choice I made on my own, I may become confused and unstable when problems arise, leaving me more susceptible to giving up. Living out God's purpose gives us confidence to stay where we are, and continue on the path God has ordained for us. Being within God's will also helps us persevere when faced with difficulties down the line. I tend to have a hard time believing in myself. I struggle with feeling I am incapable of doing things and often get myself worked up before a new job or project. But, knowing that God opened the door to this job for me, helps me overcome those thoughts. It brings peace and gives me confidence regarding my next steps. I encourage you to seek out God's direction for your life. Doing so will provide the confidence, assurance and perseverance you need to see things through.
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As most of you know, I have been dealing with an undiagnosed chronic illness for the past few months. Although I have met with several doctors, and tried several medications, nothing has been successful, leaving even the specialists puzzled by my symptoms.
While all illnesses present a series of challenges, chronic illness can be exceptionally frustrating. Not knowing if your pain will ever end causes a sense of anxiety and apprehension. When it comes to our health, most of us feel relief in finding out what we are dealing with, and how to treat it. If those details are unknown, it can be overwhelming to say the least. As Christians, we know that nothing comes to us, unless it has first passed through the hands of our Father. While this is a comforting thought, to be honest, it can also be a concerning one. It's comforting in that we know God is in control, He knows what's going on, and He will not give us more than we can handle with His help. On the other hand, it can sometimes feel concerning that our Father would allow any pain to come upon His children at all. When we pray and pray and pray, and God does not remove the problem, we can feel hurt and confused. This can sometimes cause us to run away from God instead of towards Him. If you're analytical like me, you might try to figure out what you need to do to make the pain stop. Intent on discovering the solution, you look for meaning in what you're going through. You may wonder if you need to pray more, or seek more people to pray for you. You may think you need more faith, or wonder if you are being punished for a sin you need to acknowledge. In reality, whether our intentions are pure or not, all of our self effort is really just an attempt to try and control the situation. It's been almost four months since the symptoms of this mysterious illness began, and it took me that long to come to this realization. There is no magic key to unlock the door that will end our pain, when it comes to suffering. So, where does that leave us? What do we do when we are struggling in severe pain and our situation does not improve? I have found the answer to be threefold: 1. ACCEPT ~ To accept your suffering means that you are aware that God knows what's going on, and have made peace with the fact that He's allowed it. Accepting does not mean you have to like what you're going through, it simply means consenting to God's will and sovereignty. 2. BEAR ~ To bear means to carry your cross, and endure your burden. This may look like praying every time you are suffering with the pain or when symptoms flare up. It's not easy, but with God's help we know that all things are possible. 3. PERSEVERE ~ To persevere means to keep going and not give up, no matter what the result. Do the best you can, use the mind God has given you when it comes to seeking help or treatment, and then leave the results to Him. I don't know about you but when it comes to spiritual matters, I appreciate practical advice in how to address a situation. I hope this helps those of you who struggle to know "what God wants from you" during your season of suffering. Oh, and don't forget to add a dash of hope to this recipe. Chronic illness can sully one's outlook very quickly. No matter what your situation looks like, or how you feel, continue to choose hope. For "hope gives faith the wings to fly"! Have you ever struggled to believe a promise from God? Whether it be a promise in the Bible, or a personal word given to you by the Holy Spirit, you just can't seem to maintain faith in its truth.
Well I have, and admittedly, it's one of the things I wrestle with the most in my faith journey. Rather than being a one time event, it's a day to day choice I have to make. Will I give into despair and disbelief, or will I rise, believing that even though I can't see anything promising, God will make good on His word to me at the appointed time? The choice is mine, but faith is a fight sometimes; it is not usually a natural inclination. There are moments where I am struggling so intensely to believe, it's almost as if I'm determined to disbelieve. I find myself replaying worst case scenarios in my mind, scenarios that don't even make sense based on what God told me. My flesh feels the need to be in complete control and check all the boxes as a means of protecting myself, so I don't get hurt. We all know how extremely painful it is to get our hopes up and have them dashed. Having hope can be scary, especially when you're in a dark season, and have become accustomed to expecting the worst. It's emotionally easier that way, isn't it? When Joseph was in prison, the Bible says, "Until the time that His word came to pass, the word of the Lord tested him." (Psalm 105:19) Despite the fact that Joseph was in a place he didn't want to be, it was not his confinement that he struggled with the most. His biggest trial revolved around the promise God had given him before he even got there. God had given Joseph two dreams, which revealed Joseph's brothers bowing down to him. (Genesis 37) It was this word that God gave Joseph, the hope of a promising future, that made his jail sentence the most challenging. Joseph had to fight a mental battle during those years, to believe God, when everything in his life pointed to the opposite of what God said. Just as faith and hope were Joseph's greatest test, history repeats itself in the workings of our lives. Faith and hope do not come easily. These are character traits that have to be chosen, fought for, and practiced. God always gives us a choice. Sometimes, to be honest, that choice hurts my brain. I struggle to have the simple, childlike faith Jesus refers to in the Bible. (Luke 18:17) Despite my rationalizations and justifications, I constantly hear the Lord beckoning me, "Do not be afraid, only believe." (Mark 5:36) Sometimes, I repeat this verse in my head like a mantra, whenever I feel my mind becoming overwhelmed with doubt and fear. Truthfully, it often takes more faith to believe the worst, than to simply believe what God said in the first place. Why do we make it so hard on ourselves? If you take a look at some of the stories in the Bible where God made a promise that the recipient struggled to believe, you'll notice a common thread. They didn't want to get their hopes up either. Feelings are a delicate thing, and we just don't want to risk getting it wrong, do we? It's understandable, so if you struggle with this, know you are most certainly not alone. What do we do when we are stuck in a cycle of disbelief that we can't seem to break? The answer is simple in wording, but much more complicated in action. We must determine to believe; it's something we must purpose in our heart. We have to make a conscious, consistent effort to choose faith. It will not be easy. It will most likely go against our feelings and natural instinct. There is no other way, but the greatest blessings in life or worth fighting for. Ask God to help you on your journey from doubt to faith. Though He tests us, He is not indifferent to our feelings. He will offer you the encouragement you need, as you spend time with Him, to continue to believe. A few weeks ago, God brought my attention to a ministry focused on persecuted Christians around the globe. I was inspired by their outreach, and surprised by what I learned.
(So much so, I will be doing a video on my channel soon about how our little family can get involved. Check out the new "Missions - Open Doors" tab if you're interested in learning more.) Seeing some of the different stories, and becoming more aware of just how many of our brothers and sisters in Christ are still being intensely persecuted, was eye opening, to say the least. Many of these people are just like us. They have homes and families, just like we do. Yet, they are being afflicted, imprisoned, harassed, and even tortured for their faith in Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, we are here in our comfortable homes, stressing out about how long it's taking for our car to get done in the shop, or how much time we have to wait in line at Starbucks. Believe me, I speak to myself in this, as I am admittedly an offender of the impatience & ill-context club. To be fair, it's challenging not to have high expectations when you grow up privileged. And by privileged, I don't mean rich or materially well-off. What I mean is, we essentially get to live in peace, and most of us pretty much have what we need in life. We're not persecuted in the way other Christians are around the world. For the most part, we live safe and comfortable lives. We don't have to live in constant worry over the safety and well being of our friends and family members. It is helpful when we are struggling with feeling negative or ungrateful, to remember the plight of our fellow man. In more practical terms, getting our mind off of our own problems, and acting on behalf of others in need, is the best remedy for a sour or sad disposition. It's also the perfect anecdote for an ill-context mentality. (Yes, I made that phrase up, but I think you know what I mean.) The more aware we are of the painful realities of others, the more we realize how small our problems really are. Oh, the importance of having appropriate context in life. I don't know about you, but I've never felt more aware of all I have to be thankful for. Well my friends, 2021 has finally come to an end. Needless to say, it's been another year of both blessings and challenges for us all.
With the continuance of Covid, destructive weather patterns around the globe, and heartbreaking stories in the news, it's taken courage to rise above all the negativity. Our faith is a great tool to help us embrace the positive. There's something magical about the end of the year. To some, it may just be a number, but to me, it's more. Call me an idealist if you wish, but New Year's Day evokes feelings of a fresh, new start. It feels sort of like a reset, a second chance, a different chapter. That's how I like to look at it anyway. As we take our Christmas decorations down, and get our houses back in order, there's a feeling of optimism in the air. I believe God wants it to be like that for us. In the same way sleep marks the end of one day and all its tasks, New Years Eve marks the end of a year and all its events. I, for one, am excited for the new year, and I hope you are too. The Bible says that, "Where there is no vision, the people perish." (Proverbs 29:18) We were made to hope. God wants us to dream along with Him, so that we can fulfill the purpose He has for our lives. I hope the end of this year finds you well. I am so thankful for each and every one of you. I thank God for allowing me to have a ministry where I've been able to meet such amazing people. It's been such a blessing, and I can't wait to see where He takes us all next. Until next year dear Risers, thank you for your friendship and unbelievable support. I love you, you're in my prayers, and I'll see you next year. xoxo I know I have touched on this topic before, but being that it is still a widely perpetrated saying, I felt the need to address it again. Have you heard people utter this catchphrase before?
"Family is everything" has to be, in my opinion, one of the most insensitive motto's of them all. Just think about the meaning of that phrase a little bit deeper for a second. If family is everything, where does that leave the orphan and the widow? Where does that leave people who have irresponsible parents, or people that have been abused by family members? Where does that leave people who can't have children of their own? There are so many reasons why this phrase is destructive and misleading. Another problematic issue that stems from this thought process involves traditions within a family's culture. Don't get me wrong, I think it's wonderful to celebrate one's heritage and ethnicity, but not to the extent where a person's behavior becomes un Biblical. For example, in some cultures, taking care of one's parents is expected and esteemed. While there is nothing wrong with this in and of itself, and it is in fact a good thing to an extent, it can present a problem if a person is married and prioritizes their blood relatives over their spouse. The Bible says we must be willing to give up everything for the Kingdom of God. In fact, there is a verse in the Bible that states, "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and even his own life, he cannot be My follower." Luke 14:26 Obviously, God doesn't want us to hate anybody. What this verse means is that it is of utmost importance that our priorities are right, as Christians. In the Biblical structure, God comes first. If we are married, our spouse comes before our other former family members. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 Not following the Biblical order of things brings disastrous consequences in relationships. There is no place in the Bible that states that family is everything, so to be blunt...it's not. Our family is the body of Christ. I think our culture needs to revisit some of our "popular" sayings, and make crucial changes to the way we think about things. If family is everything to you, how do you expect to have a heart that reaches out to others, on the outside? If family is everything to you, and you put your relatives first at all costs, your viewpoint will be distorted, and you may have to compromise your values. God is everything, not family, and family means more than blood and relations in the body of Christ. So, let's stop perpetuating this misleading phrase, look outside our units, embrace others, and move on, shall we. "So it was, from the time that he had made him overseer of his house and all that he had, that the Lord blessed the Egyptian's house for Joseph's sake; and the blessing of the Lord was on all that he had in the house and in the field." ~ Genesis 39:5 ~ Some of us currently find ourselves in difficult circumstances, and are "stuck" in a waiting period that is beyond our control. Although hard to accept, sometimes God allows us to be in the midst of suffering for a season.
The season may be of short duration, or could even last for several years...yes, several years. Look at Joseph's story. He was in the pit for a very long time. People that preach the "prosperity gospel" which is the belief that God wants you to be happy and wealthy all the time, simply twist the Scriptures. The Bible directly informs us to not be surprised at trials. Trials are a part of life and play a particularly crucial role in the lives of Christians, because God is interested in producing character in His children. Character is essential to our faith and ministry to others, and we each have a calling to fulfill in our lifetime. When Joseph was in his waiting/transition period, the Bible says God was with him through it all. The verse above shows us another interesting and encouraging truth that we can glean from Joseph's story. God can bless us in the land of our enemies! Even if we are somewhere we don't want to be, or in a situation we don't necessarily feel comfortable in, God can bring good out of our circumstances, making them easier for us to bear. Potiphar's house probably felt like a prison to Joseph, being that he had been sold to him in slavery. It was an unfair, unjust situation, beyond his control. BUT, God blessed Potiphar's house in order to bless Joseph. In the midst of a wilderness period, God had his hand on Joseph's life, causing him to be successful in the land where he was taken captive. What a comforting thought to know that God can even use our enemies to bless us! This brings me to another insight that I want to share with you. Despite the fact that it seems like God allows evil to prevail for long periods of time, the Bible clearly states that a person will reap what they sow. In many stories in the Bible, we see that God has an end-date to a person's "reign of terror." God may strive with someone for a time, but at a certain point willful disobedience, hardness of heart, and continual sin has a pay date. Not only is there an appointed time for blessings in our lives as Christians, there's also an appointed time God deals with those who have oppressed us. It's best to take our eyes off of the evil people in our lives, and just rest in the Lord. Like Joseph, we can flourish in our difficult circumstances knowing God is with us, and will bless us even in the midst of our enemies. We will not be where we are forever. On the other side of the pit is the palace. So hang in there, and relish in the good God has blessed you with, right where you are. He graciously gives us reasons to rejoice, even in the hard seasons. "Therefore they sought to take Him; but no one laid a hand on Him, because His hour had not yet come." John 7:30 I've been talking about the appointed time quite often on my channel lately. The reason for that is because timing plays such a big role in our lives as Christians.
Timing is often what causes us anxiety. When things don't happen in the time frame we desire or imagine, our faith is tested, and we have a choice to make. Do we continue along the course, until God gives us clear direction to move? Or, do we apply what we think is common sense, follow our hearts, and carve out our own destinies? Jesus had to wait on the appointed time. If the Creator of the universe endured periods in life when His destiny tarried, should we not rise to the occasion as well? One of my favorite verses is Habakkuk 2:3. It says, "For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, It will not tarry." In other words, though something seems long in coming, though it appears as if change will never occur, hold on. Stand firm and wait on the Lord, because He will act in His time. One of the most important things to understand, as we grow in our faith, is that God's timing looks a lot different than ours. Do we trust that He hasn't forgotten us? Can we persevere, using eyes of faith instead of eyes of "common sense"? If we truly want what's best, we will ignore our unstable feelings, and rely on God. Jesus submitted His will to the Father, and as Christians, so must we. There's a quote I love, that I see often on social media. It states, "When it's not God's timing, you can't force it. When it is God's timing, you can't stop it." I know this is easier said than done. Sometimes, I feel like a bird trapped in a cage, banging against the bars of my circumstances. Most of us would feel a lot more comfortable if we were in control of our own destinies. We each have a choice. We can choose to opt for our own way, take control, and try to manipulate change in our lives. Or, we can choose to surrender to God's leading, exhibit patience, and wait. What keeps me hanging on is a desire for God's best for my life. I don't just want ok, or good, I want the best...Don't you? I encourage you to allow God to stretch your faith, as you learn to wait on His appointed time. I believe it will be well worth it in the end! "Jesus wept." ~ John 11:35 It's the shortest verse in the Bible, yet one of the most powerful and most telling. The passage lies in the story of Lazarus. A personal friend of Jesus, Lazarus had been sick.
His sisters, Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus, expecting Him to heal their brother, before he succumbed to his illness. Jesus got the message, but chose to delay His arrival, so that He could perform a special miracle for the family. When He appears a few days later, He is greeted by Martha. Although clearly disappointed, she converses with Jesus, trying to make sense of the situation, and determined to keep hold of her faith. Afterward, Mary arrives, a little less strong and more noticeably broken. She cries at the feet of her Lord. It is at this moment, when Jesus sees her and the others weeping, that the Bible says He "groaned in the spirit and was troubled." (vs.33) Shortly after, vs. 35 tells us that, "Jesus wept." So, why did Jesus weep? He knew the miracle He was about to perform. He knew the people's tears would shortly turn into joy and laughter. In addition, there was to a certain extent, a lack of faith in the crowd. Clearly, the people thought Jesus' power was limited, or they wouldn't have despaired. So, why the tears? Jesus wept because He cares my friends. These were tears of sympathy and concern over the feelings of His children. He had compassion and empathy for the turmoil His people were experiencing. Romans 12:5b says, "Weep with those who weep." When you shed tears over someone else's pain or suffering, it shows how much you truly care. Maybe you've never had a friend or family member who empathized enough to feel this way about something you've gone through. Perhaps, like me, you have experienced a cold shoulder or an aloof response, when you were hoping for comfort and tenderness from a loved one. Well, "There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." (Proverbs 18:24b) His name is Jesus. When you weep, He weeps. When you're sad, He cares. When something horrendous happens in the world, He in concerned over its brokenness. Just because we don't always see God act in accordance with what we think is fair or right doesn't mean He doesn't care. We are the shortsighted ones. Make no mistake, God sees all, God knows all, and God cares about all. Let this be a comfort to you today. "And He gave them their requests, but sent leanness into their soul." ~ Psalm 106:15 Ouch! This verse really cuts to the chase doesn't it?! This text is referring to the children of Israel, during their time of wandering in the wilderness. (The passage in in Numbers 11, if you'd like to read it.)
The Israelites were complaining because they didn't have any meat to eat. They were looking back at their time of captivity in Egypt with a false sense of longing, remembering only the fish they consumed, rather than the oppression they endured. God had been providing a nourishing food for them, called manna, but it wasn't quite to their liking. They wanted variety. Moses was sick of their endless complaining, and so was God. (Numbers 11:10) So, God told Moses He would give them what they asked for. He would provide meat for the Israelites for a month, in the form of quail. The only problem was, the meat was not going to satisfy them. Although they got what they thought they wanted, it ended up making them sick. The people were struck with a plague, and death came to those who "yielded to craving". (Numbers 11:34) This was the price they had to pay for "despising the Lord." (Numbers 11:20) Sometimes, we cry out to God for something. We have an intense desire for this thing we are praying for, to the point where it becomes less about God's will, and more about ours. We are intent on getting what we want, when we want it. So, we beg, plead and pray, all in the name of our strong passion and desire for this thing. And sometimes, God gives us exactly what we ask for, even if it's not His will, just like in this story. I can tell you firsthand, this has happened in my life. The reason God "gives in" in these cases is not so that we can relish in what we asked for, but rather, to teach us a lesson. When I've received something from God that I've been desperately desiring, even with the knowledge that it really wasn't in His timing, it didn't satisfy. Even if the thing we desire is good, a good thing at the wrong time, becomes a bad thing. God knows what we need, when we need it, and He has a plan. Many times, God is the one that places these desires in our hearts to begin with. But, since He holds the map to our Promised land in His hands, we must leave it to Him to decide when and how to bring things to pass in our lives. Otherwise, we will be like the children of Israel, and get exactly what we think we want, and then realize that it wasn't what we needed at all, at least, not yet. I have come to a place now, after learning the hard way, where I'd rather leave my desires to God and wait on His timing, than have my own way. I've come to that conclusion, because I've discovered through experience, that things acquired in my life on my time, in my way, don't last, and don't satisfy. Trusting God means believing that He knows best, and leaving Him to act on our behalf. I've often wondered why it is so important for us, as believers, to have faith in a promise or word from God. What difference does it make what a person thinks in their mind? Why is believing, and not doubting so important? How does it affect the reality of the outcome?
Well, I believe I finally got some much needed clarity on this, and I am so excited to share it with you! It comes from the story of Joseph, my favorite Biblical character. I believe his narrative can give us some insight into how what we think, can affect what happens in our lives. When Joseph was in prison, he held on to faith that God would fulfill the vision He'd given him when he was a boy. Years had gone by, with no signs of the dream coming to fruition, yet he maintained hope. Despite the fact that his life seemed to get worse every time he chose to do the right thing, he never stopped believing. We know this because when the butler and baker told Joseph they had a dream, he didn't respond with an attitude, or posture of defeat. If he had been hopeless that his dream would come to pass, he would have either ignored them, or told them dreams are just imaginations of the heart, that never come true. Instead, we know that what ends up happening. Joseph caringly asks them to tell him their dreams. Then, he interprets them. Think about that! There's a nugget of truth in there I've never noticed before. Let's follow this line of thinking through... If Joseph didn't believe God for his own dream, he wouldn't have interpreted their dream. If he didn't interpret their dream, the butler and baker wouldn't have known he had the ability to do this. If the butler and baker didn't know he had the ability to interpret dreams, they would have never recommended him to Pharaoh, when he had his own dream. If they never recommended him to Pharaoh, Joseph wouldn't have been able to interpret Pharaoh's dream. If Joseph didn't interpret Pharaoh's dream, he wouldn't have been promoted to second in command. And if he wouldn't have been promoted to second in command, the vision of his brothers bowing down to him wouldn't have been able to come to pass! WOW! Is your mind blown? Mine is! The outcome of the story...the literal, tangible sequence of events that had to happen to get Joseph to his promise, was affected by the belief he held onto in his heart. This encourages me SO much! Knowing that what I believe in my heart matters to the outcome, helps me to be resolved in maintaining a faith mind frame. If we doubt what God has told us, it may affect the decisions we make. It may affect the people we come into contact with. It may affect our chance at being referred to a person integral to our destiny. It may prevent necessary steps to the goal. So, the moral of the story is this. Friends, it is so important that we do not give up! Not just in our actions, but in our minds and hearts. We need to maintain an attitude of faith in what God has told us, if we want to see His promises come to pass in our lives. So don't think yourself silly for holding on. Get rid of your doubt! Be confident in knowing that the simple act of you choosing to believe, is a step in the right direction towards your Promised Land. Let God lead you to your future by doing your part, and continuing to maintain a faith mind frame! With so much of our time and focus on our own lives, sometimes it's all too easy to forget the truly important things. If I may be so bold to say it, I think that there is one aspect, when it comes to ministry, that is grossly neglected in the Christian community. We are not spending enough time seeing people.
It's incredibly simple, yet enormously impactful. Just see people. Look at people, acknowledge them, validate them. Show them that they matter. If we continue to miss this important and elementary aspect of Christian service, I believe we are way off the mark! Some people are so busy searching for a ministry, or position, they don't realize that the greatest ministry is staring them right in the face. Just love others. And, if love is an action, which it is, then certainly it must start with seeing a person. God looked for and pursued the outcasts. Can you say you do the same? Is church solely about attending and hearing a Bible study for you, or is it about making an effort to see people, and find out who you can bless? I can tell you from experience, one of the biggest blessings you could ever give someone is to just acknowledge them. Show them they matter. Make them feel loved. So, instead of focusing solely on what you can get out of a church service, or on your idea of ministry, I encourage you to make it your first priority to just see people...really see them. And then, act on that. Smile at them, introduce yourself to them, look them in the eye, and ask them about their lives. I'm going to a new church now, and the pastor told us a story that recently happened on church grounds. There was a new person visiting for the first time, an unbeliever. When the person got to the church, the man directing parking for the service greeted them when they arrived. The parking attendant introduced themselves, and asked the person's name. That person ended up deciding to come back the next week, and the same parking attendant recognized them, and remembered their name. This simple act of kindness, just acknowledging the person, caused them to accept Jesus as their Savior that day in church. It didn't take a crusade. It didn't take a big show. It didn't take a powerful message. It didn't take a retreat. It simply took being seen. I know that many of you have busy lives and large families, but please understand that many other people don't. We have to look outside of ourselves if we want to make an impact for the Kingdom. We need to start caring about others in action. You don't have to travel to a different country to be on the mission field. The need is right in front of you, and all around you, right now. Whether at church, at your job, or even at the store, every day is an exciting opportunity for you to impact someone's life in a positive way. But, it starts with disciplining yourself to look for the unseen. Can you do that? I think we all can, can't we?! Please don't forget the importance of being faithful in the small things. You never know, it could even save someone's life. "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us." ~ Ephesians 3:20 For this month's blog, I want to encourage you with the story behind my Rescue Life Fundraiser (www.gofundme.com/f/faith-to-rise-for-rescue-life). As I shared in the video I made for the campaign, (www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJXu2_wzHmw), God led me to this specific outreach in many ways.
Several years ago, I had a dream that prophesied about it to me, although I didn't know any specifics at the time. Also, within the last couple of years, God has been highlighting the area of Southeast Asia to me, although again, I wasn't sure why. It was not until a few weeks ago, when watching a video for Rescue Life, that I knew where God's finger was pointing. There were images in the video, that mirrored my dream. I also discovered that the focus of Rescue Life is Southeast Asia. After watching the video, all the puzzle pieces finally came together, and God revealed to me what it meant. This is why timing is of utmost importance my friends. Let's look at the timeline again. I had the prophetic dream in 2016. The highlighting of Southeast Asia came around 2018. Finally, the video that God used to clarify it all came a few weeks ago, in 2021. God does things on His own timetable. He had been preparing me for a fundraiser to address this particular issue for a span of 5 years. He revealed things to me, one puzzle piece at a time, from the year 2016, to the year 2021. We have to let God develop the things He puts in our hearts, over the course of time. Timing is not the main subject I wanted to address on this blog post, but I felt that I needed to at least touch on the issue. I hope it encourages you to see an example of how God works something from beginning to end in our lives. HE does it, not us, and He does it with such ease! Which brings me to my next point. It makes me laugh a holy type of laughter, to think of how God worked through this fundraiser. I am going through the story of Gideon, as some of you know, on my Faith To Rise Christian Encouragement channel. Little did I know that my story would be mirroring the story I was telling about him! You see, on the days leading up to me putting out the fundraising video, I was facing some serious discouragement. Looking back, I see now that it was a skilled attack from the enemy, not wanting me to get the video out. But, this discouraging attack was also used by God to show me some things I needed to see. A couple days before the video went live, I became aware of something regarding my ministry, that I had been excluded from. (I believe this was a strategic attack from the enemy to happen at this particular time.) This led me to start doubting my calling, my channel, and my purpose. I started thinking that my channel, being one of the smaller Christian ASMR channels, was too small to make and impact. I became insecure of my role, becoming so discouraged, and feeling so useless, that I contemplated not putting out the video at all. For a few days, I was feeling really down. I must admit, I shed some tears over it, wondering why God was not validating me, when everything I was doing, was for his glory. I felt forgotten and alone. Feeling forgotten and alone by others is one thing, but feeling forgotten by God cuts you to the core. As I sought Him, God spoke to me through a passage in Jeremiah, particularly Jeremiah 15:19. It says, "Therefore thus says the Lord: If you return, then I will bring you back; you shall stand before Me; if you take out the precious from the vile, you shall be as My mouth. Let them return to you, but you must not return to them." To give you some context, as it relates to Jeremiah, he was feeling the same way I was in this part of his story. He had been given a very specific mission from God, one that made him feel lonely and isolated. In the verses preceding, he falters in his faith, questioning God, by thinking Him unreliable in his situation. But, God assures Jeremiah that if he repents from this way of thinking, God will use him & deliver him as well. After reading this, I knew what God was telling me. Despite feeling hurt, alone, and insecure, I knew I had to put the video out. So, I did. To give you an idea of what I was thinking, I expected that the video might bring in around a hundred dollars or so total for the duration of the fundraiser. I had asked for one dollar per subscriber, but knew that not everyone would watch the video, so my expectations were not very high. I thought my reach was too little. But on the first day of the fundraiser, several people donated. The donations started at five dollars, and in fact, not one person donated one dollar as I'd suggested. As I received notifications on my phone that contributions were coming in, I was honestly completely surprised. I checked back from time to time, to see where we were at, and later that day, I noticed something very strange! Surely there had been some mistake! The bar showing the progress of the fundraiser to the goal was full! And, in fact, not only had we reached our goal of one one thousand, two hundred and eighty dollars, we were currently one dollar over, at one thousand, two hundred and eighty one!!! Those who have walked with God for a while must be laughing with me as they read this, because it's so God to do something like this! As I checked in disbelief, to see what was going on, and if there was indeed some mistake, I noticed several generous donations, along with one extremely generous donor who gave over one thousand dollars! Needless to say, I was in shock the entire day. Honestly, I'm still in shock. Lesson learned Lord lol! The next day, I woke up to discover that even more people had donated! We were now at over fifteen hundred dollars! "Now You're just showing off Lord!" I was beside myself! I was Gideon. Let me explain. Days before, much like Gideon, I had said, "But Lord, my channel is too small," and, "But Lord, I am the least influential of all the Christian ASMR channels"... I thought that there was no way that God could use me to make a difference. But, God had planned for me to put that video out. He had been working in my heart for years, and He knew what was coming! What if I had let my insecurities win? What if I didn't put the video out, because I was too focused on myself or my inabilities. I'll tell you what! If I didn't put the video out, God would not have had the chance to work through the smallest and weakest vessel, like Gideon, to do a miraculous thing! It does not matter to God if you think you're small or weak. HE does the work, we are only the instruments. All we need to do is simply be willing and obedient. This experience has been a HUGE life lesson for me, one that I will never forget. God definitely made his point! Our fundraiser has currently raised enough to save twelve victims from the horrors of Human Trafficking, and donations continue to come in. My goal was ten, and I doubted we'd even save one with the amount we earned. But God knew. Our Heavenly Father is truly able to do above all that we ask or think. I went from feeling left out, weak and alone, to knowing I am loved, seen, and affirmed by God. But, in order for that to happen, I had to obey when all that was within me wanted to quit. And I hope and pray you will do the same. Oh, and by the way, the day after the fundraiser, I realized that I had not been excluded after all, and was invited to be a part of what I thought I was being left out of. It was like God was putting the icing on the cake for me, and I was so grateful. So, keep going my friends. God is so good. Step aside and let Him work in His timing. Let Him reveal to you, step by step, over the course of time, what He's planted in your heart. Be obedient no matter how things look or how you feel, and trust me, you will be blessed! In Joel 2:25, we find a special promise. It says, "I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten." In other words, God can compensate for that which you've lost.
What a hopeful verse! If we have been struggling through a long and hard season, God is able to make up for lost time. He can help right the wrongs done to us. Perhaps there is a whole new chapter in your life, that you aren't even aware of, coming just around the corner. We cannot go by what we see. When Abram traveled to Canaan, in obedience to God, it seemed as if he had confidence in His plan. He pitched his tent and built an altar, after God appeared to him, to confirm His promise. But, immediately his faith was tested. There was a famine in the land, and Abram had a choice to make. He could either believe what God told him, looking through eyes of faith, or doubt what He said, looking through fleshly eyes of logic and practicality. Abram chose the latter, and ended up leaving the Promised Land. After this, many trials followed, and it all started with one faulty decision, inspired by doubt. Despite the fact that God continued to confirm His promise, Abram faltered. Abram was incorrect in thinking God wouldn't provide for him in the place He called him to live. God's promise should have given him eyes of faith to see beyond his present circumstances. But, can we blame him? We aren't much different. We say we trust God, but when the bills are due, and there isn't enough money in our account, we wonder if God will provide. Or perhaps God has given you some special promises for your future, but the way things look now, it seems impossible that He will ever come through. It's so important that we look through eyes of faith. Faith sees beyond the seemingly obvious. Faith believes in the unseen, without any physical evidence at all. Faith is based on the trust and assurance we have in our Father. So, do not be afraid my friends, just believe. (Mark 5:36). God cannot lie. If He said it, He will do it. I think we make it harder on ourselves by not believing. Choose hope, and believe that God will come through for you. It will lift your spirits and lighten your countenance to choose not to give in to doubt. It could be that your miracle is right around the corner. God's timing, and methods are much different than ours. So, get your eyes off of your circumstances. Don't worry about how things appear, and trust in God's promises. Get ready for your comeback! WARNING: This is a serious topic that may trigger you, so please proceed with caution.
Sometimes, a narrative in life needs to be changed, and this is one of those times. I don't know about you, but I have heard the phrase, "Intimacy is the glue in marriage," more times than I can count. But, for those of us who have suffered in difficult or dysfunctional marriages, we know this is absolutely not the case. Not only is this popular Christian catchphrase untrue, it is also damaging to those who are living with abusive or toxic behavior. If you have ever been counseled to add more intimacy to your relationship, when you've gone in search for help with what you're dealing with, you know exactly what I mean. Adding more intimacy to a relationship that suffers from a foundational lack of trust, puts the "victim" of toxic behavior in an uncomfortable, and even terrifying situation. Simply put, you cannot be intimate with someone who you don't trust. It is unwise, and frankly it is unkind to your personhood. When you force yourself to be intimate with someone, because you're trying to save your marriage, or you've been advised to, or for any other reason, it can feel more like rape than a unifying experience. Intimacy should never be forced, and you should never feel uncomfortable in an intimate setting. God made intimacy for marriage as something to bond the couple. It's meant to be enjoyed, but it cannot be pleasurable in an unsafe environment. Continuing to be intimate with a spouse you don't trust, or with a spouse that constantly mistreats you, can do years of damage. So please, be careful my friends. Guard your hearts and use wisdom in your marriage. Honestly, I don't believe anybody else, pastor, teacher, counselor, etc., should even be commenting on a couple's intimacy in the first place. It is a sacred and private matter, and is supposed to be a holy thing. Talk of intimacy should be limited to the two people involved in the relationship. Don't believe everything you hear in Christian circles. Just because it is said or repeated, does not mean that it's true, that it applies to you, or that it's applicable in your life. In order to grow, sometimes we must change our viewpoint on things, and I believe this is one of those times. If you are a person living in a dysfunctional or destructive relationship, you cannot take everything that is said at face value, even if it comes directly from the pulpit. Living in a toxic situation disqualifies certain advice. But, how would you know this if no one told you? I had to learn the hard way, through experience, but I hope to be able to encourage you with what I've learned.
I have been disheartened in the past, as most of you know, from receiving bad advice from people in positions of "spiritual" authority. I don't blame anyone, and I know that there were no bad intentions involved. I believe that toxic relationships require a special understanding that not all people have. That's why it's of utmost importance, if you decide to seek council, to find someone who specializes in what you're dealing with. A dysfunctional, destructive, or toxic relationship is not a healthy relationship with some struggles. It's a completely different situation, in its own category. Typical, generalized advice or exhortation simply does not apply. You can't just sit through a sermon on marriage, apply what you learned, and expect to get positive results. Those who have not been in this sort of relationship may not understand this. But, those who have tried everything for years, with no improvement, know exactly what I'm talking about. Pat statements such as, "There's nothing better out there than what you have", or "The grass is always greener on the other side", can truly be damaging and disheartening. They snuff out all hope and cause a person to lose faith and trust in God. You simply cannot tell someone that's being abused, whether emotionally or physically, that what they are dealing with is the best it's going to get for them. I think sometimes pastors and teachers don't take into consideration, the diversity of people in their audience. This is something I hope and pray will improve within the church. So, if you are in an abusive, toxic, dysfunctional, or destructive relationship, and you've heard that what you're living through is the best it's going to get...If you've been made to feel selfish or sinful for not being ok with the situation you're in...I want to apologize to you on behalf of whoever made you feel that way. I want you to know, there absolutely IS better out there. It's not ok, nor is it healthy or "normal" to be oppressed in a relationship. It shows wisdom and discernment to know that what you have is not good. Call it what it is. Do not pretend your bitter cup is sweet. Do not excuse the sinful behavior you're experiencing. It's ok to want something better for yourself. It is not covetous to want a healthy relationship. On the contrary, it's righteous. TOXIC: Submitting in marriage means staying in an oppressive, toxic situation.
TRUTH: It is unwise to stay in an oppressive, toxic relationship. TOXIC: You need to submit in marriage, even if a relationship is crazy & is destroying you. TRUTH: If a relationship is destroying you, you may need to leave. TOXIC: You must stay in your marriage at all costs, even your sanity. TRUTH: God cares about your sanity & does not want you to live in bondage. TOXIC: The marriage covenant is more important than your well being & personhood. TRUTH: God cares about your physical, mental & emotional health as an individual person. TOXIC: It's up to you to fix your relationship. TRUTH: It takes two willing people, plus changes in behavior, to fix a relationship. TOXIC: If something is wrong, it must be me. TRUTH: If something is wrong, it doesn't mean it's your fault. TOXIC: All relationships can be fixed, healed & worked out. TRUTH: Not every relationship can be mended. It depends on the choices of the people involved. TOXIC: Everyone can be changed & will change. TRUTH: Not everyone will choose to change or take appropriate action to change. TOXIC: What someone says about their effort must be true. TRUTH: Just because a person says something, doesn't mean it's true. You have to look at their actions. TOXIC: Words & intentions trump actions. TRUTH: Words NEVER mean more than actions. Actions speak louder than words! TOXIC: If you get a divorce, that means you did something wrong. TRUTH: Getting a divorce doesn't mean it's your fault. The behaviors involved ultimately made the choice. TOXIC: I am powerless in my situation. TRUTH: I am NEVER powerless in a situation. I ALWAYS have a choice! TOXIC: I have no choice but to stay. TRUTH: I have the right & responsibility to make wise choices for my life. TOXIC: I should listen to whatever people in authority (pastors, counselors, therapists...) tell me. TRUTH: Discernment needs to be used when given council & advice. Some council is bad council! TOXIC: Sacrificing in a relationship means giving up your right to trust & feel safe. TRUTH: Sacrificing never means forcing yourself to tolerate untrustworthy, unsafe behavior. TOXIC: Forgiveness means accepting bad behavior. TRUTH: Forgiveness has nothing to do with accepting bad behavior. It's releasing the grudge. TOXIC: Forgiveness means you have to be reconciled with a person & stay with them. TRUTH: You can forgive & still choose to separate from a person. TOXIC: Once you make a choice, you're stuck. TRUTH: You are NEVER stuck. You are free to make your own choices for your well being & sanity. TOXIC: Unfaithfulness in marriage only has to do with sexual sin. TRUTH: Unfaithfulness in marriage consists of many different behaviors & is not exclusive to sexual sin. TOXIC: It is loving & patient to tolerate wrong behavior. TRUTH: It is UNLOVING to tolerate behaviors that are wrong. Sometimes love must be tough. TOXIC: In marriage, you have to be united physically, even if there is no trust & you don't feel safe. TRUTH: You should never have to force a physical relationship in marriage. It should be natural & mutual. TOXIC: You must choose to trust, even if a person is untrustworthy. TRUTH: You should NEVER choose to trust, especially if a person is untrustworthy! TOXIC: Giving a person another chance means blindly trusting them again. TRUTH: Trust must ALWAYS be earned, by a pattern of righteous, reliable behavior. TOXIC: Forcing yourself to trust is the forgiving, Godly, righteous thing to do. TRUTH: Forcing yourself to trust is unwise. You cannot trust an untrustworthy person. TOXIC: If I forgive a person, I must forget as well. TRUTH: You cannot use wisdom appropriately, if you forget what a person has done in the past. TOXIC: You are not strong enough to be on your own. TRUTH: You can do ALL things through Christ. You can absolutely succeed & thrive on your own! TOXIC: It is ok for your husband to control you, because he is the head of the family. TRUTH: Force & control are unloving & destructive behaviors. Submission in marriage should be mutual! TOXIC: With enough time & effort on your part, you can make a marriage work. TRUTH: You cannot force a marriage to work. It is not up to you! TOXIC: One person can fix a relationship. TRUTH: One person cannot fix a relationship. It takes two people, doing their part. TOXIC: It is righteous to focus solely on the good parts of your relationship & ignore the bad. TRUTH: It is foolish & dangerous to pretend your marriage is something it's not. TOXIC: It is high maintenance to expect follow through and honesty in a relationship. TRUTH: It is normal & the bare minimum to expect follow through & honesty in a relationship. TOXIC: Having relationship problems must mean I am difficult & unlovable. TRUTH: I am fearfully & wonderfully made & deeply loved & adored by the Creator of the universe! TOXIC: I am who my partner says I am. TRUTH: NOBODY gets to say who I am or define me, except for God. ~ MARRIAGE & HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS SHOULD FEEL LIKE A BLESSING, NOT LIKE BONDAGE ~ I once saw a quote from Oswald Chambers, in his devotional, "My Utmost For His Highest," that really rang true for me when I read it. It said,
"When you are joyful, be joyful; when you are sad, be sad. If God has given you a bitter cup, don't try and make it sweet; take things as they come." The reason it made such an impression on me is because up until that point, I had become really good at faking my emotions. Somewhere deep down inside, I had come to believe that it was ungodly for me to feel sad. While we are told in the Bible to be content and joyful, this doesn't mean we are not allowed to feel our feelings. In fact, suppressing your true emotions can be a dangerous and unhealthy thing to do. I, for one, was relieved when I realized I had confused my thinking on this matter. If you are going through a difficult time, no matter how long it lasts, remove the pressure you are putting on yourself to act like nothing is wrong, or force fake happiness. Just because some of our Biblical heroes sang praises in their prisons, doesn't mean they liked where they were. You can accept something, and find contentment and joy, without liking or preferring where you're at in your life. We are not called to be fake, so if you've been pretending for the sake of being a "Godly Christian" you can take that burden off yourself. Sometimes we feel like it's our responsibility to be the perfect example. We feel it is our burden to live up to the standards other people have put on us. I have heard some sermons that made me feel this way. I left feeling like it was completely up to me to make sure I made our faith look good in a sense. I believe this is wrong. Because of this thinking, I forgot that God is a God of grace and mercy, not pressure and force. So take the pressure off yourself my friends. Do the best you can. Keep growing in your faith. But, know it is not up to you. It never was, and it never will be. You can rest. If you're going through a hard time and you're frustrated about it, don't pretend you're not feeling that way. Take your concerns to God, and be open and honest with Him about how you feel. Let the truth set you free. (John 8:32) Have you ever come to a place where you feel like nothing makes sense anymore? Confusion and uncertainty have replaced your sense of normalcy, and suddenly all seems lost? Times like these can be terrifying and cause anxiety, if we don't have the tools to understand what is going on, and how to overcome.
I have found that when sudden terror and fear come upon me, the root issue always points back to the same thing - a loss of faith. Sometimes we underestimate the importance of this crucial ingredient in our lives. Because it is something intangible, that has to be practiced, we don't always recognize it as necessary and important. Not only is faith important, it is the building block of our lives, as Christians. Without it, everything else would come crashing down. The past couple weeks, I have been dealing with some major spiritual warfare, and it's taken me a while to get back on track. My hope is that as I share this experience with you, it can be a light to help guide you, if you ever find yourself facing a similar dilemma. It all started with a feeling of discouragement. I began feeling weary about a difficult situation I've been enduring for a long time. The discouragement then led to depression and anxiety. Because I subconsciously believed that I had a right to feel sorry for myself, because of all I've been through, I allowed myself to nurse my feelings instead of fight them. After feeling this way for several days, I then became extremely confused. I was completely and utterly stuck. I felt like I no longer had a firm grasp on anything, regarding my life and situation. Getting up was a struggle. I felt like God was distant and far away, even though I was spending hours in the Word and in His presence. Days went by, and the oppressing feelings remained. I journaled, I prayed, I cried, I asked for guidance and forgiveness, but nothing seemed to change. My feelings were strong, and they were overpowering me. The enemy was winning. Sometimes, when we are getting closer to our destiny, or closer to the fulfillment of a promise God has for us, the enemy goes into full blown attack mode. He doesn't want to see us get to our Promised Land, and he'll pull out all the stops to persuade us to let go of our faith. And, that's when the problem became clear. I discovered that there was one pivotal thing missing, and that it was the root cause of all of my grief. That missing link was faith. You see, the moment I allowed the discouragement and fear to take over, my faith began to flee. The Bible says, "Without faith it is impossible to please God." Hebrews 11:6. Faith is key my friends. Let's look at the dictionary definition of Faith again. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, one of its meanings is, "Firm belief in something for which there is no proof." Let's not sugarcoat it, faith is tough. It is not easy to believe in something that you cannot see! Oftentimes, you may feel that doing so is crazy. It goes against the general belief system of the world we live in. Yet, it is the basis of our belief in Jesus, and it is also the basis of a peaceful disposition in our lives. But, how do we have faith when years have gone by without any sign of change? How do we keep believing when we're afraid to hope? Faith is a continual choice we have to make. It's as simple, yet difficult as that. The benefit of faith is that acting on it brings hope and confidence, while choosing not to have faith brings fear and confusion. I know it's hard to muster up hope when you've waited so very long, and you feel like you're going crazy, but trust me, the alternative is dim. Another thing I learned during this time of testing, is that while it is good to hold on to the promises God gives us, ultimately God wants to see if we trust Him. Do we trust the gift or the giver? You may find your answer surprises you. Trusting is incredibly hard when you've been hurt. Hoping is terrifying when you've been traversing through an extended period of disappointment. But, we must find the courage to choose faith, because the alternative is to wither away in despair. I want you to know, if you are in an extended season of difficulty, I empathize with you so much. If it is any comfort to you, please know that you are not alone. But, no matter how tempting it is to throw in the towel and just be done with the whole thing, let's muster up the courage to choose faith. We must choose to believe that things will get better. We must choose to believe that we will not be here forever. We must choose to believe that God is working actively behind the scenes, even though nothing is changing from our standpoint. We must not lose sight of the light at the end of our tunnel, leading us forward. That light is faith, and it's guiding us out of the pit, and into a hopeful future. So, never give up my friends. Keep believing. Keep rising. Keep choosing faith. Let's make our way out of the darkness together. If you've ever felt like you just don't quite feel at ease living in this world, you're in good company! The events of 2020 have gotten me thinking even more about how foreign this land we're currently living in truly is. But, if you make sure to keep a loose grip on the life you are living here on this earth, you will find a peace resonating deep within your soul.
Most of us live our lives day to day, with the general sense that we have some form of control over our circumstances. We do what we want to do, when we want to do it, for the most part. But, when unforeseen events invade our daily routine, we become fully aware of how little control we really have. This year has thrown us all for quite a loop. We have faced situations we've never had to overcome before. With Covid-19, the riots, and the fires, a person without a solid foundation of hope may feel shaken and likely even panicked. Thankfully, for those of us who know our journey on this earth is temporary, we've been able to place our confidence in the solid foundation of Jesus Christ. We have peace in knowing that nothing is a surprise to God. Despite the unprecedented circumstances of life, we know that God is always in control. We hold our lives loosely, because for us, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. We know that a better future awaits us in heaven, where there will be no more tears, and no more pain. We know that our days are numbered, and God already sees our lives all the way to their end, and this brings us rest. I encourage you to examine yourself today. Where does your hope and peace lie? Does it lie in the predictability of life, or the level of control you feel you have over it? God can be your anchor today my friend! In Him, we can have peace through all circumstances. We can have hope for a better future. Can you truly say with confidence today that to live is Christ and to die is gain for you? If not, ask yourself why. Because the moment you release your grip on this temporary thing we call life, is the moment you will find that peace that surpasses all understanding. What you will gain is so much greater than what you'll be giving up my friend. You will be able to say, as the Scripture says, "None of these things move me." (Acts 20:24) And that my friends, is something of lasting value! The Bible says, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:9). But what do you do when a person refuses to live at peace with you? I think Romans 12:18 gives us some good insight about this. It says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This shows us that in some situations, it is indeed not possible to live at peace with all people.
I used to go out of my way, in any situation where there was a disagreement, misunderstanding or conflict, to try and fix it. Even if the fault did not lie with me, and the conflict was not perpetrated by me, I wanted to do my part to make sure things were resolved. I quickly learned that not only was this not possible, it was not healthy. Many times, the person involved was not interested in conflict resolution. In some situations, their heart was hard, and they would be in attack mode, when I attempted to make peace. It’s always been hard for me to accept that things can't necessarily be made right. I figured there must be something I could do to fix it, but sadly, that just isn’t true, and isn’t realistic. In order for a relationship to work, and heal, the parties involved must first and foremost, be willing. So, practically speaking, what does it look like to live at peace with people? To attempt this, we have to use wisdom for each individual situation. We have to call upon God for direction. We can’t just plow ahead with whatever we think will work or help. Sometimes, being a peacemaker means seeking out a person, and initiating conversation and resolution. But, sometimes being a peacemaker means leaving a situation alone and unresolved, because it would only result in further conflict, if addressed. I’m going to give you a personal example from my own life, to show you a picture of this in action. This scenario just happened to me a few days ago, and the lessons I learned from it actually inspired me to write this post. My son was swimming over at a neighbors house the other day. Our neighbors have a grandson that they actually parent as well. So, their grandson and my son often play with each other. Our neighbor came by and told us that my son was being too aggressive in the pool, and that it was unacceptable. My son had come in before that, and shared a different story with me, but being that my son is 10, I knew there was probably more to it. I’ve had our neighbor's child over at my house many times before, and I’d seen the dynamic between their son and mine. Often times, there would be a provoking incident, that would cause my son to retaliate. So, when she told me what happened, I told her that I totally understood, and took responsibility for my son. But as we continued talking, she refused to understand that her son played a part in the incident as well. Somewhere in the middle of our chat, I realized that her behavior was irrational and dysfunctional. She was condescending, and would not listen to anything I said, or take any responsibility. So, I stopped trying to work things out with her, and just listened, until she was done and left. After that, my son decided that he was no longer comfortable swimming at their house anymore, and wanted to take a break. He explained that our neighbor scared him, and that she yelled at the kids from time to time. A couple days later, there was a ring on our doorbell at nine o'clock at night. Our family had been watching a movie in our pj's. My husband answered the door, and our neighbor started questioning why we wouldn’t let our son play at her house anymore. My husband told her to hold on, and sent me to deal with the issue, since I knew more about it. So, I put on a robe, and went out to meet her. Now, at this point, I knew in my head that there were some red flags of dysfunctional behavior, but I decided to kindly give her one more shot, and see what she had to say. The moment I walked out, I was bombarded with aggressive, condescending language and tone. I was asked questions that I wasn't given time to answer, and it was clear that our neighbor was not there to resolve, but to argue. I spoke softly and kindly to her throughout our conversation, but it didn’t matter. She did not like that my son wasn’t comfortable over there any more, and she was going to get her point across no matter what. The conversation ended with her verbally attacking my son and I, saying that my son needed help, and that I didn’t know how to parent. She stormed off my porch, falling off the steps as she walked away in a huff. Some people just want to argue, my friends. Nothing I could do or say would've changed the trajectory of that conversation. Some people will spew out all of their garbage onto you. They don’t care about playing fair, and they honestly don’t care what you have to say. I was saddened after this incident, knowing there was nothing I could do to fix it, and that we'd be forced to live with this uncomfortable situation now, because of her inappropriate behavior. My old self would have followed her back home, apologized, and maybe even groveled, doing whatever I could to “fix” the situation, even at the expense of my own dignity. I may have texted her to try to work things out, or apologize, even though I didn’t do anything wrong. But, now, after many years of dealing with situations like this, I know that is not the wise thing to do. To be a peacemaker in this situation, means that I have to leave it alone, and construct boundaries to repel future inappropriate behavior. It may seem that you are the bad guy, when you are the one setting limits and boundaries, but you're not! It is not your fault that wise choices have to be made, based on another person’s problematic behavior. The problem does not lie with the one enforcing the boundaries, but with the person who caused the issue in the first place, so stand your ground. As you can see, being a peacemaker can look different, depending on the dynamic of the specific situation you find yourself in. Being a peacemaker doesn’t mean getting along with everyone. It means you do the best you can to maintain peace in relationships. But, ultimately, you cannot control if another person refuses to live at peace with you. Peace is NOT possible in all relationships, so we have to use wisdom when deciding how to respond in situations like this. Do the best you can, but don’t lose sleep over difficult relationships with difficult people, that you have no power to restore. I don't know about you, but I have discovered that most of the time in my life is spent waiting in the in between times. Life includes more waiting than it does action. But, if we spend all our time focusing on something that has not yet happened, we will waste precious years of our lives.
When we have received a promise from God, or are anticipating something He's going to do, it's tempting to just sit around and watch the clock. It can be challenging to actually live our lives, when our lives are not where we want them to be. But, this is the only way. The promises God gives us may take longer than expected to come to fruition. Just look at the stories in the Bible, and it will become obvious. God's timetable is not our own, and we will become more and more frustrated, if we focus on something we want, instead of on what's in front of us today. Now, that doesn't mean we can't hold on to our dreams and desires. It doesn't mean we can't look forward with hope and expectation to the future, and to what God's going to do. But, we have to be careful to put that hope and expectation in its proper place. Until the events come to pass, it is best to balance the hope of what has not yet come, with the daily responsibilities of life. I find it most healthy for me to keep these things in the back of my mind, and not focus on them too much. Otherwise, I may miss out on today. Also, focusing too much on the future can cause discontentment. It can tempt us to fantasize about what we don't have, instead of being thankful for what we do. Just like the serpent in the garden of Eden tempted Eve to forget all that she had, and focus on the one thing she didn't; we can become unbalanced if we are overly focused on something, even if it's a good thing. God gives us strength for each day, not the next. The Bible says not to worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough of it's own things to worry about. We need to make the most of the grace we're given each day, and be careful not to waste it. I know it's hard to focus on today, when you have big dreams and are anticipating something God may have spoken into your life. I struggle a lot with this. But, I encourage you to ask God to give you something to focus on in the meantime. After I lost my foster child, I did just that. God came through, and He answered me. He led me to my YouTube ministry, and it's given me purpose, and has kept me busy ever since. Even though I am looking forward to the fulfillment of several personal promises God has given me, that have yet to come to pass, I have found contentment in the day to day. I still hold on to my dreams, but instead of putting them in the forefront of my mind, I've placed them where they belong. My focus is today. The future belongs in the future, and the past belongs in the past. My hopes and expectations are still there, but they no longer dominate me into a passive state. We must live for today, and while our dreams can give us a passion and propel us forward, we best leave them in God's hands until He sees fit to accomplish them. This is where true contentment lies, and contentment brings us peace of mind, and maturity of faith. There comes a time in our relationship with God, where we will need to dig a little deeper. Up until this point, God may have gone above and beyond, in giving us signs and wonders to help our faith grow. But, at a certain point, we will be required to lose our crutches, and move beyond the milk of the Word, to its meat.
Part of this process of growth entails learning to discern and listen to God’s voice, above all else. As a new Christian, God uses many different kinds of influences to help us hear His voice. He helps us grow by giving us more tangible evidence of His working in our lives. He knows what we can handle, and sends us what we need, to help us develop in our walk with Him. But, as we grow in our walk with God, we learn to stop frantically running around, looking for answers from the flesh. We no longer need signs and wonders for confirmation. We learn that not all advice is good advice, or God’s advice, well intended as it may be. We learn what we truly believe, based on our own personal conviction from the Holy Spirit, rather than from the limited exhortation of others. I have gotten some really bad advice over the years, as I have sought counseling from friends, family members, pastors, and even licensed Christian therapists, thinking they could help show me the way. I used to think if a person had known God longer, or was older, or more mature in their faith, what they spoke into my situation must be correct. But, unfortunately, that is not true. Only you know exactly what you’re going through. God wants us to stop running around, frantically seeking help from humans, and ultimately turn to Him for guidance and direction. Seeking counsel can be helpful in some situations, but the best place to go when you need answers, is straight to God. When you go around asking other people's opinions, seeking validation or direction for your own personal circumstances, not only may you drown out what God is trying to say to you, you may become more confused. God most often does not reveal His will for our lives to other people. He reveals it directly to us. As we grow in our ability to discern God’s voice, we become confident in the words He speaks to our hearts. We learn to use wisdom, knowing that some things are best left between us and Him. We learn we don’t need the approval of others to be confident in what God is saying. Like I always say, God takes us through a step by step process, to solidify our faith, and this is just another step in the process. Thankfully, no matter what step you’re on, there’s no rush! Just allow God to take you along the path, trusting Him to complete the work. He will get you where you need to go. Pretty soon you will be so in tune with your Heavenly Father, you won’t need to look anywhere else. You’ll learn to immediately take your concerns to your Father in prayer, and then you’ll wait, knowing that in time, He will show you the way. I used to wonder why we have to go through hardships, in order for our faith to become solid. Why, as Christians, do we have to face so much testing, and so many trials? Isn't our sincere faith and allegiance to God good enough? Why does God want more from us?
Although it is true that God already knows what lies in each and every one of our hearts, we don't truly know what we're made of, until we go through difficult circumstances. One of the reasons God takes us through trials, is so that we can discover who we really are, and where we stand. Are we believers in Jesus because we truly believe, or are we believers in Jesus because of what we want to receive from Him? Another reason God tests our faith, is in order to solidify it. Solidify means, "to make strong, solid, and reinforced." God wants us to get to the point where our faith does not depend on our circumstances. But, why does He want this for us, you ask? You may think it seems unnecessary. Yet, it is born out of God's sincere love and concern for us, as His children. God doesn't want us to be tossed to and fro, unstable and shaky, as we go through tough times in life. God wants us to be solid and sound, so that we can thrive, not just survive. He wants us to be strong, so that we can overcome any difficult situation, through Him. When you have been through the fire, and are still able to come out on the other side, with your faith intact, you have come to the place where nothing can shake it. At first, when we start going through difficult trials, we may shrink from them or shirk them. We may question God. Our faith is wobbly and untrusting. But, this kind of faith isn't really faith at all. The dictionary definition of faith is, "complete trust or confidence in someone or something." This kind of faith only comes through the fire. Trials cause us to either hold on tightly to God, or let Him go. It is by going through these trials that we learn to become dependent on God alone. We realize that we truly believe in God, not because of what we see, or how He's coming through for us, but because of who He is. It is in our holding on to God, and not letting go, that we realize our faith is rooted in the right place, in God alone. This kind of faith believes well before it sees any evidence being manifested. This kind of faith can move mountains. This kind of faith is the rarest and purest kind. As most of you know, it has taken about twenty years for my faith to get to the point where it is solid. Twenty years of extremely trying circumstances that almost took me down, and are still at play in my life. Although I've known and loved Jesus since I was a child, my faith was not strong at first. When I started going through intense trials in my life, it could not withstand the hardships I had to face. I questioned God. I mistrusted Him. I was even disappointed in Him. The image I had of God in my mind was that of a loving Father, but I did not see that character being manifested in my life. God seemed cold, calculating, and unfeeling to me. It seemed as if He was playing with my emotions, and toying with my life. I held God at a distance for many years, as I went on a desperate search to find answers to some of the difficult questions I was facing. I was determined to discover the meaning of all of it. And what I found, was that during the twenty years I was questioning God, He was slowly building my faith. Although I didn't realize it as I was going through it, God was taking me through a process, to help get me to a place of eventual peace and certainty. For some of us, this process will take longer than others. But, God knows what each of us needs, to get us to the place we need to be. The place where we are no longer dependent on anything other than God Himself. The place where we will truly find peace and rest. Solidified faith in God is where true freedom lies my friends. When God gets you to the point where your faith is strong like this, nothing can stand in your way. Not only will you be more grounded and stable in life, God will be able to use you in any situation He desires. Like Paul and Silas in prison, you will be able to be content through any circumstance you face, because God is all you need. You'll have a peace that surpasses understanding. People that don't have Jesus will be puzzled and astonished when you exhibit this kind of faith, and it will inspire others to want it for themselves. What a great witness to a world filled with so much need. Although the process of solidifying our faith may be long, hard, and sometimes even confusing, it is well worth it in the end. I can tell you that firsthand. In the end, it is just you and Jesus. In the end, you will be unwaveringly confident in Him. There will still be trials, and we will still have struggles, but our faith will finally be strong enough to carry us through and overcome. With God on our side, and our faith fully intact, we will have nothing to lose! I have a confession to make. I've often wondered, worried really, about if God would truly provide for me. My fear was not based on whether God was able to. I knew He certainly was. My anxiety lay in wondering if He would still provide, even if I didn't do my part well enough. For example, if I didn't steward our finances perfectly, would He still provide for me financially? What if my best was not enough? What if my best wasn't truly my best? How could I be sure?
I think a big part of the answer to this question lies in the motivation of our hearts. Do we want to do the right thing? Do we want to do the best we can? Are we making the effort? We are never going to do things perfectly. If we did everything perfectly, we wouldn't need God! God knows we are limited, fragile human beings. Now, let me clarify something. There is a big difference between acting willfully or carelessly, and desiring to do our best. For example, using the topic of finances again... If I were to go out, and just carelessly and consistently spend money, without a heart that wants to please God, that's different. But, I believe if our hearts are in the right place, then we truly are doing the best we can. The problem is, our best effort is still going to fall short, and it always will. We are always going to miss the mark. if not regarding finances, than in other areas, and God knows that. The root of this fear ultimately lies in feeling like God will only bless us if we are perfect, and that is downright untrue! Jesus came here for that very reason. He came here as a perfect human being, to save us imperfect human beings. He doesn't require perfection as a down payment for blessings. He sees our hearts and is loving and gracious towards us. So, we try our best. We know what we ought to do, and we give it our best effort, which is never going to be perfect. Then, we let God take care of the rest. This is a huge relief, isn't it?! I still fight the urge to put pressure on myself. Sometimes, the voice in my head sounds very condemning. But condemnation is not of God! So, when anxiety starts creeping in on me, I remind myself of the grace and mercy of Jesus. I remind myself that I need Him everyday, and in every aspect. And, I allow myself room to not be perfect. |
AuthorI love to write, and God has given me a passion to encourage others in their faith. This blog allows me to do both! Here, I'll be sharing personal experiences and struggles, as well as the Hope that I have, that gets me through the tough times. Search By Topic
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July 2022
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